Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
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sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
that is very illegal...i love you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize