Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
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The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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