For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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