I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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