the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
