I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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