dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We had to coat check the pizza.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
