What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
