if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
