fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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