Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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