escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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