The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
