I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
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I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
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I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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