How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
