Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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