I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
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So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
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"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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