96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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