come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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