Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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