Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
