you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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