Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
