You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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