I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
