Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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