Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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