I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
