i love accidental penises.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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