If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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