So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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