Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
