I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
How's work?
Spinning.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
