Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
