you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
