i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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