Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
