It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
