Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I need water and some morals
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
