Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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