in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
