his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize