Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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