I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
