HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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