20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
