I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
