I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Girls should come with a carfax report
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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