I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
