a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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