are you still at the devil's house?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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