HIV tests are more positive than that guy
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
