how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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