I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
