i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
