Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
