U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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