I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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