How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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