I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
