Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
