you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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