Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
