Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
pray to the hookup gods
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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