he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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