Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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