I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize